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The Ego’s Obsession with Control

Todd Franzen

December 17, 2023

Managing Anxiety in Cancer Survivors

Digital illustration of a man, looking into the center of a bright light, with what appears to be stars or fireworks going off in front of him.

As cancer survivors, we often find ourselves struggling with anxiety and distress. The fear of recurrence, the uncertainty of the future, and the changes in our physical and emotional well-being can all contribute to feelings of helplessness and lack of control.

However, what many of us fail to realize is that our ego often plays a significant role in our obsession with control.

Understanding the ego and its obsession with control is essential in managing anxiety in cancer survivors. Our ego is the part of us that seeks to protect us from perceived threats and dangers. It is the voice in our head that tells us we need to be in control of everything and that we need to have everything figured out. However, when it comes to cancer, the reality is that we cannot control everything. Accepting this fact can be a significant step in managing anxiety.

Managing anxiety in cancer survivors involves learning how to control our ego. We need to learn how to let go of the need for control and accept the uncertainty of the future. This may involve practicing mindfulness, seeking support from loved ones, and seeking professional help.

By understanding the ego’s role in our obsession with control and learning how to manage it, we can take control of our anxiety and live a more fulfilling life.

Key Takeaways

  • Understanding the ego’s role in our obsession with control is essential in managing anxiety in cancer survivors.
  • Letting go of the need for control and accepting the uncertainty of the future can be a significant step in managing anxiety.
  • Managing anxiety in cancer survivors involves learning how to control our ego through mindfulness, seeking support, and seeking professional help when needed.

Understanding the Ego

Understanding The Ego Centered Prison That Fuels Your Anxiety

The ego is a complex concept studied extensively in psychology and psychoanalysis. Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, defined the ego as the part of our consciousness that mediates between the demands of the id (our primal desires) and the reality of the external world. The ego operates according to the reality principle, which means that it tries to satisfy our desires in a way that is realistic and socially acceptable.

The ego is not the same as our identity or self-concept, but it is a crucial part of it. It is responsible for our sense of self-importance and self-awareness. The ego functions to maintain our sense of control and stability in the face of external challenges and internal conflicts.

One of the ways the ego maintains control is through the use of defense mechanisms. These are unconscious processes that protect us from anxiety and other uncomfortable emotions. For example, denial is a defense mechanism that allows us to ignore or minimize a threatening situation. Projection is another defense mechanism that involves attributing our unacceptable thoughts or feelings to someone else.

It is important to note that the ego is not always rational or in control. Unconscious motives and desires can influence it, and it can also be influenced by external factors such as social norms and cultural values. Understanding the ego and its functions can help us become more aware of our thought patterns and behaviors, which can be a valuable tool in managing anxiety and other emotional challenges.

As cancer survivors, it is common for us to experience anxiety and other difficult emotions. Our experiences with cancer may have challenged our sense of control and stability, and our ego may be struggling to maintain its sense of self-importance.

By understanding the ego and its functions, we can become more aware of how our internal and external worlds influence our thoughts and behaviors. This awareness can help us develop healthier coping mechanisms and improve our well-being.

The Ego’s Obsession with Control

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This is the REAL Cause of Anxiety

As cancer survivors, we often find ourselves struggling with our thoughts and emotions. The ego, which is the part of us that is engaged in self-justification, can become obsessed with control in an attempt to manage our anxiety. This can manifest in various ways, such as repressed memories, symptoms, and conflict.

Psychoanalytic theory suggests that defense mechanisms such as repression, guilt, and shame can be used to protect the ego from external threats. However, these mechanisms can also lead to depression and a diminished sense of self-worth.

As survivors, we may make promises to ourselves about how we will behave and cope with the challenges of cancer. However, when we cannot meet these expectations, we can become overwhelmed with guilt and shame.

It is essential to recognize and understand the mechanisms of defense that we use to adapt to the external world. This can include behaviors such as eating disorders, egocentrism, and the fear of ego death. By acknowledging these patterns, we can transition towards a more enlightened and individuated self.

Eckhart Tolle suggests that subjective self-identity can be transcended through meditation and mindfulness practices. The dark night of the soul can be a problematic but transformative experience that allows us to let go of our attachment to the ego and embrace a more transcendent state of being.

As men, we may feel pressure to maintain control and independence. However, it is crucial to recognize that seeking help and support is not a sign of weakness but rather a strength.

By acknowledging and understanding the ego’s obsession with control, we can relinquish our attachment to it and embrace a more transcendent and adaptive sense of self.

Anxiety in Cancer Survivors

Dealing With Anxiety and Distress As A Cancer Survivor

As cancer survivors, we understand the reality of anxiety and its symptoms all too well. The conflict between our desire for control and the unpredictability of our health can be overwhelming. We may rely on defense mechanisms and behaviors, such as repression or attachment, to cope with our fears.

Guilt and shame can also weigh heavily on us, especially if we feel like we could have done something differently to prevent our illness.

These feelings can lead to depression and a sense of diminished self-worth. We may make promises to ourselves that we can’t keep or feel like we’re losing consciousness of our own lives. Our ego strength may be tested as we struggle to reconcile our internal world with the external world. Our sense of self-importance may be challenged, especially if we feel like we’re no longer able to contribute to society like we used to.

Childhood experiences and past traumas can also come to the surface during this time, making the transition into survivorship even more difficult. Rejection from loved ones or society can compound these feelings of anxiety and isolation.

However, it’s important to remember that this experience can also be an opportunity for growth and enlightenment. The individuation process, or the journey towards becoming our true selves, can be challenging but rewarding. The dark night of the soul, or a period of intense spiritual questioning, can lead to transcendence and a greater sense of purpose. Practices such as meditation and psychedelics can also aid in this process of self-discovery and healing.

Ultimately, managing anxiety in cancer survivors requires a combination of self-care, therapy, and a supportive community. We must learn to let go of our ego’s obsession with control and embrace the unknown while caring for our physical and emotional needs. By doing so, we can emerge from this experience more robust and more resilient than ever before.

Managing Anxiety through Ego Control

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As cancer survivors, we often feel anxious about the future and try to control every aspect of our lives. However, this obsession with control can be detrimental to our mental health and well-being. Through my experience as a two-time lymphoma cancer survivor, I have learned that managing anxiety requires a shift in our ego control.

Our ego is responsible for our sense of self and our reality principle. It helps us adapt to the external world and maintain our self-importance. However, when our ego becomes too focused on control, it can lead to repression, conflict, and defense mechanisms. We may try to avoid our thoughts and emotions, which only exacerbates our anxiety.

To manage anxiety, we must learn to let go of our need for control and accept our reality. This requires us to confront our thoughts and emotions and be present in the moment. We must be aware of our ego functions and how they affect our behaviors and self-concept. By acknowledging our anxiety and accepting it, we can reduce our symptoms and improve our self-worth.

Psychoanalytic theory, particularly the work of Anna Freud, can provide insight into how our attachment and sense of self influence our anxiety. Our conscience, guilt, and shame can also affect our mental health. By understanding these concepts, we can learn to manage our anxiety and improve our self-identity.

Through meditation and self-awareness, we can strengthen our ego functions and adapt to our external world. Eckhart Tolle’s teachings on ego death and the transition to a subjective self-identity can also help manage anxiety. By letting go of our ego and embracing our identity, we can transcend our anxiety and achieve enlightenment.

Managing anxiety through ego control is a process that requires patience and self-reflection. By acknowledging our anxiety and accepting our reality, we can improve our mental health and well-being.

Final Thoughts…

A digital photo interpretation of a pretty lady, smiling

We understand that managing anxiety and distress in cancer survivors is not an easy task. As a two-time lymphoma cancer survivor, we empathize with the difficulties that come with the territory. It’s crucial to acknowledge the ego’s obsession with control and how it can affect our mental health.

We must learn to let go of the things we cannot control and focus on what we can.

Self-care is essential, and we must prioritize it. Exercise, mindfulness-based stress reduction, and cognitive-behavioral therapy are just a few ways to manage anxiety and distress. It’s also important to remember that seeking help is not a sign of weakness. There’s no shame in asking for help, and it can make a world of difference in your mental health journey.

We urge men, in particular, to prioritize their mental health. Society often tells men to suppress their emotions, but it’s crucial to acknowledge and process them. It’s okay to feel vulnerable and seek help. Remember, your mental health is just as important as your physical health.

Managing anxiety and distress in cancer survivors is a journey that requires patience and self-care. We hope that this article has provided you with some valuable insights and strategies to help you on your journey. Remember, you are not alone, and seeking help is a sign of strength.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the long-term psychological effects of cancer survivorship?

As cancer survivors, we may experience long-term psychological effects such as anxiety, depression, and fear of cancer recurrence. These feelings can be overwhelming and may interfere with our daily lives.

How can counseling techniques help manage anxiety in cancer survivors?

Counseling techniques such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) can help manage anxiety in cancer survivors. CBT can help us change negative thought patterns and behaviors, while MBSR can help us learn to manage stress and anxiety through meditation and other techniques.

What are some practical ways to overcome cancer anxiety?

Some practical ways to overcome cancer anxiety include exercise, relaxation techniques, and support groups. Exercise can help reduce stress and anxiety, while relaxation techniques such as deep breathing and meditation can help calm our minds. Support groups can provide a sense of community and help us feel less alone in our struggles.

What is the rate of anxiety among cancer survivors?

Anxiety is common among cancer survivors, with studies showing that up to 40% of survivors experience anxiety. It’s important to remember that we’re not alone in our struggles and that there are resources available to help us manage our anxiety.

What are some recommended anti-anxiety medications for cancer patients?

Several anti-anxiety medications may be recommended for cancer patients, including benzodiazepines and selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). However, it’s essential to discuss the potential benefits and risks of these medications with our healthcare providers before starting any new medications. Keep in mind that many are very addictive.

How can cancer recurrence anxiety be managed effectively?

Cancer recurrence anxiety can be managed effectively through a combination of counseling techniques, support groups, and self-care practices. It’s essential to stay informed about our cancer and to communicate openly with our healthcare providers about our fears and concerns. By taking an active role in our care and seeking out resources for support, we can learn to manage our anxiety and live fulfilling lives as cancer survivors.

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Todd Franzen


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