Its OK to Accept Help!

Todd W Franzen

November 4, 2018

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Its OK to Accept Help!

We get so caught up in our battle that we have a tendency to forget about the people that support and care about us. I learned through one of these people what that Definition is. It’s about excepting the help from your supporters because it helps them feel good about what they’re doing to help you. It’s a little bit of a twisted web but the generosity of people really has no bounds.

I’ve all ways tried to be as self reliant and not a burden to others. It’s a bit of an ego thing I guess.

One of the things I learned through my cancer experience is just how much support and help there is out there. The biggest lesson is why it’s important to accept the help that is offered.

For the longest time, my ego was in the way as I didn’t want to accept the help that was offered. What I didn’t realize is by not accepting help, I was not allowing those that wanted to help feel good about there generosity.

And that’s what it’s all about right? Feeling good!

Fortunately there’s a lot more good with people doing good things for other people than there are bad. We just happen to see all the bad. That’s why I created this video and wrote this post. To tell you that it’s ok to accept people’s help. Shortly after diagnoses and deep in treatment, I had a lot of support from people that just wanted to help in one way or another. My friend Jeff offered to make a dinner for me and the family.

I felt odd and awkward…

about it at first because I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me and I didn’t want people to go out of their way to do something for me. I didn’t want to come across was feeling unappreciated for his want in helping me. Jeff pulled me aside and was like, “hey, you know I want to be able to help you. I want to do this for you and the family”. My family and I were struggling. It was a difficult time. I said ok and he made sure that everything was taken care of.

Jeff ended up making myself and the family an awesome dinner stew.

Since going through all my treatment in the winter, what I realized is the amount of good it made him feel. This was huge because of my family’s needs at the time. This helped tremendously deal with this crazy situation that I was in and for the first time, I realized that it was ok to accept people’s help.

Now, you can pick and choose the help that you are receiving from people. There’s a lot of different ways that people can help, whether it’s coming to your home to help clean up or making dinner to taking the kids for a night. Whatever it is you can you can pick and choose those things that you feel are going to help benefit you the most and you feel like will help the giver feel good in return.

It’s okay to say yes. You absolutely should because of what it does for those people that are trying to help you.

 

It makes them feel involved…

and feel like they are they’re doing what they can to help you through your time of need. The biggest lesson you can learn from this is when someone that you care about goes through a difficult time, Be there for them and you offer your help and support to them too. It’s a cycle of generosity that is created.

I hope you like the content I’m creating. It’s pretty simple stuff and it’s a lot of just mindset changes that you can work on. You can take action with right so if you like if you like one what I’m talking about hit me in the comment section below and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. I hope you have a great day.

 

Todd

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Todd W Franzen


I am a two-time Hodgkin's lymphoma survivor with 17 years of documented cancer survivorship experience that spans multiple treatment eras. My journey began in November 2009 with a Stage 4B diagnosis at age 33, and continued through recurrence and treatment in 2019-2021. This rare longitudinal perspective—living through two complete treatment cycles a decade apart—gives me comparative insight into cancer care evolution that no single medical professional can replicate.

MY TREATMENT EXPERIENCE

First Treatment Cycle (2009-2010)
• 12 infusions of ABVD Chemotherapy over 6 months
• 2 infusions of ICE Chemotherapy (4-day infusions)
• 1 infusion of BEAM Chemotherapy
• 1 Autologous Stem-Cell Transplant
• 8 PET Scans
• 6 CT Scans

Second Treatment Cycle (2019-2021)
• 2 infusions of Brentuximab and Bendamustine
(Severe allergic reaction to Brentuximab — hives)
• 25 rounds of Radiation to Mediastinum (46RAD combined)
• 4 infusions of Keytruda Immunotherapy
• 2 infusions of IGEV Chemotherapy (5-day infusions)
• 1 Total Body Radiation (2RAD)
• 1 Sibling Allogeneic Stem-Cell Transplant
• 6 PET Scans
• 6 CT Scans

COMPARATIVE EXPERTISE

Surviving two stem-cell transplants—one autologous, one sibling allogeneic—across different decades of cancer treatment has given me firsthand experience with nearly every major modality in lymphoma care: combination chemotherapy, salvage chemotherapy, immunotherapy, radiation protocols, and both types of stem-cell transplantation. I've experienced treatment side effects from the "standard" ABVD era through the modern immunotherapy period.

This comparative expertise matters for survivors. Treatment protocols in 2009 looked very different from 2019, and the long-term survivorship implications are still emerging. Doctors treat; survivors live with the aftermath. I've done both—twice.

CREDENTIALS & PROJECTS

• Founder: Strap In For Life 501(c)(3) nonprofit
• Author: Internal Architect: A Cancer Survivor's Memoir
• Licensed Insurance Agent (practical healthcare system navigation)
• 17-year cancer survivor documenting the journey since 2008

WHAT I WRITE ABOUT

Cancer survivorship doesn't end when treatment stops—it's when the real reconstruction begins. My blog covers:
• Practical survivorship (relationships, careers, identity)
• Treatment experience insights (what they don't tell you)
• Long-term effects and secondary health considerations
• Mental health and emotional reconstruction
• Healthcare system navigation

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