This is something that is always on my mind, especially since I am always curious and trying to figure out why I asked myself questions where I know there will be no answers. This topic really comes down to just asking simple questions for whatever reason, whether it’s curiosity or whether it is my ego, trying to make sense of the surrounding things that go on. Maybe I can explain, but for whatever reason, I asked it as a question that I know I’ll never get an answer to.
I think it kind of stems from when I was diagnosed because when I went through the whole treatment process, I couldn’t help but ask myself why was I going through this?
How did I go through this and what were the circumstances that led me to this?
And I can think of a number of reasons why I may have gotten to the point of being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. But at the end of the day, it all comes back down to the face I will never get an answer to this. But for whatever reason, it has overflowed into other parts of my life.
I ask myself a lot of really dumb questions about things I’ll never get an answer to. Things like why people make decisions that boggle your mind. I think it really just comes down to my ego trying to make sense of other people’s situations that are confusing and are curious to me.
For example, recently a guy had mowed down his entire yard, a couple of acres worth of these willow trees. My curiosity is like, why the heck did he do that? It makes no sense to me.
I catch myself all the time asking these random questions. And this has been driving me crazy. I’ve consciously been working a mental process of realization and acknowledging when I ask these ridiculous questions I know I’ll never get an answer to. I’m becoming more aware and it has gotten easier over time. By making conscious decision and choices of knowing when I do this, it has helped me learn not to be so hard on myself.
I still ask questions I know I’ll never get an answer to, but as a cancer survivor, you just can’t help it.
As a patient and survivor…
You are constantly trying to figure out why you’re going through this whole experience. That’s the root of why it is been really important for me to make the awareness within myself. Because the more I realize I do it, the better I get at not asking these questions. When you leave a question open-ended, it can lead to some pretty painful emotions and situations and lead to fear and anger.
I don’t need that in my life!
So, becoming aware of these questions has been huge in my mindset and most likely just a psychological thing that I’m teaching myself to not continue doing. So far it’s been helping.
I get a lot more relaxed and allow myself to just feel okay in the moment and feel okay with the situation and surroundings that are going on in my life. I want to ask a bad question, but I’m getting better at not.
Is it difficult?
Sure. There are times where it’s really difficult. There are just some things that are out of my control and trying to do the best that I can. Hopefully, you understand that there is a bigger picture outside other than just cancer. Cancer is always going to be a huge part of us and it’s always going to be a huge part of who we are moving forward.
But being able to not allow it to dictate the rest of our lives going forward.
I choose to be a survivor!
One with a lot of positivity and I do my best to bring that into the videos. So I think that helps explain where I’m at with this kind of a strange topic.
But nonetheless, I believe that once you start realizing that these questions will not ever go away, but you start reframing them into having answers or being able to find answers for them really makes a big difference.
Don’t let the curiosity get to you and don’t let your ego start toying with your emotions. It’s super easy to do and you start running into a whole lot of tangents by asking questions with no answers.
Do you ask questions you’ll never get an answer to?