Reoccurrence

I was going into Rocky Mountain imaging for my 3rd PET scan. I finished up my 12th round of ABVD chemo around a month and a half earlier. My anxiety was high as getting scans are uncomfortable.

I call it scanxiety.

I’m feeling optimistic. I go into the relax room and the nurse brings in my radioactive glucose shot. After the shot, I relax and watch tv. An hour or so later, I go into the imaging room and lay down on the tray. The nurse straps me down and puts a couple warm blankets on me. I fall asleep. The nurse wakes me up and go change.

I learned a lot from my oncologist explaining what the scans mean. After each scan, I ask to see what the image looks like in the imaging room.

That’s when I saw it… A little spot in the same area as the original.

That sinking feeling in your gut. I didn’t tell my family because I wasn’t sure what I saw.

I wanted to confirm that what I saw was my fear.

A couple days later during my appointment with Dr. Kantor, he broke the news confirming my fear.

I’m having a reoccurrence.

We discussed the next course of action. Due to the nature of the situation, a stem cell transplant was up next.

The Fear is Real!

What do you do? What can you do? Does this mean the end?

These and hundreds more questions start floating in your head.

Even being in remission going on 8 years now, the “what if” is always floating in the back of my mind.

It’s easy to slip down the rabbit hole as a survivor. Statically there’s a higher chance of having a reoccurrence or a second diagnosis. Now you know why it’s so important to make the most of this after cancer life. Finding peace makes the rest of he mental and Visual challenges that much easer to swallow.